Experiencing Pain in a Different Perspective

Type 1 Diabetes is a painful disease.  The event of being first diagnosed was filled with discomfort, agony, and pain.  At first, the symptoms were mostly flu like – in which I was throwing up quite often from ingesting any kind of food or liquid.  Unknowingly, my blood sugar was rising and rising and thus my body was struggling to function with such high blood sugars.  In fact, my blood sugar eventually reached 1,500 which is nothing close to the level our bodies are supposed to maintain.

After my mother found me unconscious she rushed us to the local hospital.  This brought about new kinds of pain as I was being poked, prodded, and intravenous lines placed in both arms.  I developed oral thrush, a fungal infection of the mouth, which resulted in a pain when swallowing, a feeling that food is stuck in your throat, a fever, difficulty talking, and anything you try to eat tastes horrible.  I also lost close to 18 pounds and was extremely dehydrated.

That was all going on during the initial diagnosis of type 1 diabetes.  Immediately after gaining consciousness and waking up in the hospital bed I was introduced to my first insulin shot – directly in my stomach.  Not only did losing 18 pounds make it a little difficult to find a fatty spot to inject it in, but it was something the doctors told me I had to watch in order to see what I would have to do to myself for the rest of my life.

Then, I was introduced to testing my blood sugar with a glucose monitor.  This is done by a small prick in the finger to draw blood in order to measure the amount of sugar in it in which we may have to correct by taking insulin.  Insulin is our life-saving medicine.  Not a cure, but how we are able to survive on a daily basis without the gift of a properly functioning pancreas.

Fast forwarded to today – more than nineteen years of living with type one diabetes – which includes multiple finger pokes a day and insulin injections.  For me, it used to be four to six insulin injections, but with advancement in technology I have been using the insulin pump that requires a site change every two to three days (a site change uses an injection to insert the tubing to provide insulin).

The pain I initially experienced during my diagnosis was the most I’ve ever experienced as a diabetic.  Thankfully, I have not been hospitalized because of my diabetes or experience significant effects of poorly managing my diabetes.  Although, back in my early years of diagnosis I was definitely neglecting my health to the point where a few close calls were probably right around the corner.  Over the years the significant amount of pain I remember from the diagnosis is mostly a memory.

But, that doesn’t mean living with diabetes is pain free now.   Diabetes is one of those diseases that come with pain.  Because in our daily lives we still have to take our blood sugars and inject insulin.  So yes, there still is pain in relation to the finger pokes, the injections, tubing being pulled out accidently, injection sites getting bruised, hitting blood pockets when injecting, dealing with high blood sugars, and so on and so forth.

All of those things are what makes the daily grind of living with type one diabetes difficult.  We never get a day off.  This is something we experience every single day.  For me, it’s coming up on almost twenty years… and for others even longer.  Your body doesn’t get used to the pain of a finger poke or the pain of a needle from an injection.  You get better at telling yourself to do it and carrying through with the necessary task, but you never get to the point where needles never hurt.

The pain can make living with this disease frustrating.  Thinking about having to change an insertion site or give an insulin injection can become more difficult because of the idea of having to deal with pain again and again.

Recently, I fell under the weather.  There were a lot of sicknesses going around and it appeared as if everyone had something.  I rarely get sick, but this time I fell victim to catching something… only it wasn’t just a cough or a cold or even the flu, but it was strep throat!  I never had strep throat before.  A sore throat that turned worse and worse each day became painful beyond what I imagined.

Over the course of the week, I lost five pounds, consistent dehydration, unable to eat, chills throughout my body, fever, trouble sleeping, headaches, and extreme pain in the throat and ear.  I left work on three of the four days early and did not go into work at all after finding out I had strep throat.  On the days I went home from work, I laid on the couch unable to fall asleep and laying around in darkness.

The pain was so excruciating I was unable to do anything; which included working out, running, reading, writing, drawing, watching television or movies, talking to people, working, doing side projects, or moving around.  The pain pretty much put me in a position where I could not do anything.  I was like one of those zombies who got caught up against something and was trapped in misery.

Mentally, it drove me to a form of insanity where all I could do was sit there and think about how sick I was and unable to do anything I enjoyed doing.  I spent a total of seven days being unproductive.  After I started getting better, with a fantastic dose of antibiotics, I thought in my head, “Thank goodness diabetes doesn’t do that to me or it would be complete misery.”

I started to see the pain of diabetes in a different perspective.  Even though the management of diabetes requires painful tasks, they are manageable and often minimal.  Sometimes it hurts more than others, but after a short amount of time the pain of it goes away.

Diabetes has never been so painful where I had to leave work or unable to report to work.  The pain of diabetes was never so bad to the point where I was unable to do some of the things I enjoy doing for a week straight!  In fact, I have been able to do some great things with diabetes (such as running a 50k ultra marathon).  Would I have been able to do that with strep throat?  I highly, highly doubt it!

I will always dislike the little prick feeling when testing my blood.  I will always cringe a little when injecting myself with a needle to change my insertion site.  I will always feel the physical discomfort of high blood sugars.  But, all of these kinds of pains have never really kept me from being able to keep doing what I do day in and day out in my life.